Motherhood/Parenting

Got something ugly to say? Zip your lips!

img001I was made fun of as a kid and it was hurtful.

I can recall the time when someone made fun of my nose in the 5th grade and when someone made fun of my glasses in the 3rd grade. Shoot, I would make fun of this all matching 1985 Esprit outfit.

Words do damage.

But when I was made fun of by 3 other grown women I didn’t expect it to sting like it did. I thought I had out grown that.

For at least the last 6 months I take my daughter to ballet class. The sweet little group of girls go into class while the mamas hang out and watch. You would think after all these months of sitting in a small space with the same moms one day a week we would have developed at least a casual friendship, even exchanged names. But, we haven’t. The fact that I am super shy does not do a thing to make that situation any better.

This Friday one mom (Mom 1) asked if it would be okay if her daughter passed out a Valentine’s treat to the girls. We all said “of course” and then another mom (Mom 2) chimes in and says she meant to do the same thing. Mom 1 says “Oh, I am not super mom. We just had a bunch of left over candy and I wanted to get rid of it.” We all chuckled.

THEN it began…

Mom 2: I know, don’t you just hate those Pinterest moms who do everything perfectly?

Mom 1: Oh, I know! I am sure they are judging my store bought Valentine’s I brought to preschool.

Mom 3: Who has time for all that non-sense?  It is so stupid.

Mom 1: I think they are just out to make me feel like a terrible mom.

Me: (Sitting quietly. Internally processing that these women are using words such as hate and stupid in conjunction with a part of who I enjoy being.)  It was hurtful.

While I would never put it as a label for myself I am sure others would say I am a “Pinterest Mom”. I am also a billion other things.

I enjoy doing cute things, going all out for my kids birthdays, making handmade Christmas tags, spending more hours than I should setting the table for a holiday, and doing crafts with my kids. But, I don’t do it to make a non “Pinterest” mom feel stupid, judged, or terrible.

I do it because it brings me joy! Honestly, it really has nothing to do with “you” and everything to do with creating, using my hands, and bringing a sense of life to my insides.

Without even knowing me I was labeled as someone they “hate”. Wow!

Mamas, what would you do if you caught your kids and their friends sitting around using words like hate and stupid as they talked about the school soccer team? Is there anything different about this scenario?

Ugly words spoken at any age are wrong.

Instead of comparing, judging, and assuming let’s remember:

Just as a body is one whole made up of many different parts, and all the different parts comprise the one body, so it is with the Anointed One. We were all ceremonially washed through baptismtogether into one body by one Spirit. No matter our heritage—Jew or Greek, insider or outsider—no matter our status—oppressed or free—we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Here’s what I mean: the body is not made of one large part but of many different parts. Would it seem right for the foot to cry, “I am not a hand, so I couldn’t be part of this body”? Even if it did, it wouldn’t be any less joined to the body.  And what about an ear? If an ear started to whine, “I am not an eye; I shouldn’t be attached to this body,” in all its pouting, it is still part of the body. Imagine the entire body as an eye. How would a giant eye be able to hear? And if the entire body were an ear, how would an ear be able to smell? This is where God comes in. God has meticulously put this body together; He placed each part in the exact place to perform the exact function He wanted. If all members were a single part, where would the body be? So now, many members function within the one body. The eye cannot wail at the hand, “I have no need for you,” nor could the head bellow at the feet, “I won’t go one more step with you.”  It’s actually the opposite. The members who seem to have the weaker functions are necessary to keep the body moving;   the body parts that seem less important we treat as some of the most valuable; and those unfit, untamed, unpresentable members we treat with an even greater modesty. That’s something the more presentable members don’t need. But God designed the body in such a way that greater significance is given to the seemingly insignificant part. That way there should be no division in the body; instead, all the parts mutually depend on and care for one another. 1 Corinthians 12:12-25

Let’s deal with the heart of what is going on here.

Not feeling good enough.

THAT I can understand. See, if we (ballet mamas) had the chance to actually talk then you would find out that at the core we do understand each other. I know what it can feel like to think “I am not good enough.” I know what it is like to wish I had that publisher, or that platform, or wish I had been invited to speak at that conference. THAT kind of thinking though does me zero good. It invites sin in. It is an invitation for envy to plant roots. UGLY!!!

Here is what I know. No one person or type of person makes me feel not good enough. That is my own demise. That is your choice. That is choosing to believe a lie rather than live in the truth. And I don’t choose that way. I choose truth.

I choose to know that who I am IS enough.

I am enough because God created me.

I am His daughter. His creation. His handiwork.

I am special to Him. Unique and designed in His own image which makes me darn cool.

In the words of my besties… “I am a BIG deal.” And so are you!!!

YOU ARE A BIG DEAL

Pinterest mom or non Pinterest mom you are a BIG deal because God lives in you!

You got that???

“For we are the product of His hand, heaven’s poetry etched on lives, created in the Anointed, Jesus, to accomplish the good works God arranged long ago.” Ephesians 2:10

Take it from one mama who had her feelings hurt this week if you are tempted to use ugly words against another mama can I recommend you zip your lips. You probably have more in common with her than you know.

  • JoAnnFore

    Love. this. And Pinterest Mamas. And non-Pinterest Mamas. But most of all, you and your beautiful soul. <3

    • Oh JoAnn! You are awesome. So thankful to know you are your gracious heart.

  • sarah

    I agree too. I was made fun of when I was younger and it hurts and as we get older it hurts worse. I may do Pinterest but I am using it for ideas.

    • Don’t know who came up with the sticks and stones phrase but it isn’t true is it? Words do hurt, right?