Dear God Letters, Dream Team, Life Coaching, Motherhood/Parenting

Letting Go.

letting go graphic

This week it is finally time for me to let go. After over ten years of full time church ministry with my current church the day has come for me to “retire” from this vocation I was called to twenty five years ago.

People keep asking me why I am saying “retire” when I will still be working. It is mental for me. If I use the word retire then I feel like I am closing the door. Sometimes doors have to be closed on things we have done for long periods of time or it is simply too easy to go back. Think of the bad, awful, parents didn’t like boyfriend that needed to go but you just kept saying “Let’s try just one more time.” I promise I am not comparing church ministry to bad boyfriends but I could see myself going back to the familiar if I don’t put a barricade on the door.

I am retiring not necessarily because I want to but because I need to (our bank account would disagree). It is time. God is asking something new of me. THIS is a billion percent scary! It would be so much easier to just keep doing what I know how to do, what I can claim to be an expert in, and what on most days I can do with my eyes closed but instead God is asking me to shift my ministry to inside my home and to the women and moms of this world who crave to know Him more abundantly in the everyday.

I can still remember the day I doodled the word “Cravings” on a church bulletin as I was supposed to be listening to the sermon. I didn’t know then what it would become in my life.  It has become a dream that wiggles around in my heart for the last five years and now it is here.

Now it is here.

{Internal dialog: Taking a deep breath and fighting back the tears.}

Do you have your own God-sized dream that is wrestling inside of you that comes out as a doodle, a shared conversation with girlfriends, or maybe it is only revealed in your prayers between you and God? Are you wondering about how to step into it? I would love to say I have the answers but I don’t. You have to chart your own course. I find it looks different for everyone but I will share with you 3 lessons I have learned.

1. It is okay to step cautiously.

Some people would say “FIVE YEARS! You have waited five years for this?” And yes, I have. A small part of my brain would have loved to just jump out of the plane with no parachute but that isn’t who I am. I needed a process and a plan. My husband and I needed to financially prepare, I needed to be responsible with how I left a church community I am invested in, and I needed to become a student of who I desire to be.

2. It will never go as you planned.

Despite the grand plan that my husband and I set forward (that was working fabulously by the way) things got off course when we were surprised last year by not one lay-off but two lay-offs from his work. We would have never written that into the plan. I have spent plenty of time with my face in the carpet telling God “This is not how it was supposed to go!” But despite it all we are still walking forward in faith even though the road feels rocky and we have to step with caution. Both of our hearts still feel like this is the right thing for us to do. Each wobbly step brings us closer to God and reliability on Him.

3. It will be hard work.

                I would love for my life coach ministry to land me on a couch with Oprah, and I would love for Kelly Ripa to tout the Cravings Flashcards as “The Best Baby Present EVER!”, and I would love to be asked to speak on large platforms with the best of the best in women’s ministry but I know that this is going to be blood, sweat, and plenty of tears. I am ready. I am ready to work hard for the ministry God has placed on my heart.

What about you?

Do you have a dream that wiggles in you…wanting to be flushed out? I would love to partner with you through life coaching and help you realize that God-sized dream.

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