I married a cool kid.

cool kid
I know, I know I am almost 40 years old and it really shouldn’t matter but it is high school reunion time and it is causing me a silly amount of anxiety. My husband has never missed a reunion but this will be my first time to go with him. Am I really going to walk into a reunion on the arm of a cool kid?

You see I wasn’t a cool kid, on purpose. The few times I tried to hang with that crowd my big conscious (aka: the Holy Spirit) got the best of me so I just opted out of even trying early on in the middle school years.

But here I am 20 years after any of this should matter fretting over clothes, weight, hair, make-up, conversations to have, etc…holy, “high school” batman!

As I was reading our Pin God 1st challenge last week a phrase from Colossians 3 jumped off the page at me: Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature”

Ahhhh, it was almost painful to read. But, I kept doing just that…reading it over and over and over again. It is so dramatic. PUT TO DEATH. How do I put comparison, vanity, pride, and self doubt to death?

I truly have zero fear about my husband. I don’t think he is going to look at a former classmate and think “I wish I married her.” My vanity is coming from me wanting to impress others. I went shopping today for new clothes. I have plans to have my hair colored, cut, and styled. I want to have my nails and toes done and I dream of dropping a quick 10 pounds. I have even contemplated having my makeup done that day, something I have only ever done on my wedding day. What’s up with me???

Who am I really out to impress? A bunch of people I don’t even know? Maybe a bit. We all want to make a good first impression, right? But if I dig deep I think it is really about proving to myself that I can hang. Proving that I am good enough to walk in on the arm of a cool kid and people won’t be thinking “what a joke!”

Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.

Psalm 119:37

There is nothing wrong with some personal maintenance and self-care what is wrong here is my motive. What’s wrong here is that I am letting lies about how I perceive others will see me win over truths about who God created me to be.

You know why I choose not to be a cool kid? I saw Romans 12:1-2 on a bulletin board at church when I was young and I believed it. I breathed it in and I never let it out.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:1-2

Sure an outfit can be a win, a hair style can be cute, shoes can be ooh, la, la but the award will go to my heart. Will these people I have never met see Christ in me? Will they wonder what is different about me and want to know just a bit of my story? Will I use my time that night listening to someone else rather than worrying if my lipstick is gone? Let’s hope so.

So, I married a cool kid. The great thing is he is a cool kid that let’s his light shine. May I walk in on his arm at the reunion and we light it up!

Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:15-16

P.S. – My hubs has no ideas about this post or picture. Can we keep it on the DL? Thanks!